Just so you know, it was never meant to be like this.
You were never meant to mother alone.
You were never meant to have to choose between yourself and your children.
You were never meant to be enslaved to your home and family, just because you brought the next generation into the world.
Women are nurturing, but so are men. People are nurturing. But nurturing in isolation can't be done.
For most of human history women had the babies and then the tribe, together, took care of them.
The tribe, together, valued them, encouraged them, taught them, held them, fed them, cleaned them, and raised them.
And women were free.
"It takes a village to raise a child" has become such a cliché we don't listen to its wisdom.
Listen.
You need a village.
A village is not just you and your partner, or the same relative or friend that always has your kids when you need to go out.
A village is a tribe. It is surrounding yourself with people who value you, encourage you, teach you, hold you, clean you and raise you as you do so for your family.
It is people—with different views and skills and ways—who offer your children what you can't and were never meant to.
In the absence of a village you must find your tribe, and build it yourself.
Martyring yourself to motherhood is not the only option. It is just, in our present society, the "easiest".
(Easy is relative.)
We need you free, creative, flowing, glorious, and doing what you were here to do in the world.
Which, no matter who you are, is always more than 'just mother'.
For your mind…
Dear Mothers: We Can’t Keep Pretending This is Working for Us, by Beth Berry, puts accurate, heart-searing words to what we never speak of but all know is true…and suggests some ways to start being the village we need.
For your body…
Forgotten how to be free, creative, flowing and glorious? Start here…
For your heart…
Be with other women. Feminine energy is pure, healing magic—whether it’s a monthly book club, weekly pot-luck, random garden rambles, or calling down the moon—so gather some like-hearted ladies and commit to seeing and being together on a regular basis. Know and be known. It changes everything.💖
For your soul…
A song for our times, with a chorus that reverberates though the ages.